Tricotomania and more

Sometimes I wonder whether new readers of the blog make a funny WTF face when they see the blog title. I know some of my knitting buddies still read here but I also worry sometimes that they might not care so much about all the homeschooling stuff. I’ve been in a knitting funk. I did those stranded hats when I was in Europe and some mittens. (I’d link to those blog posts but I know the photos got lost in the move from Typepad.)

I have an almost finished sweater (this one; there are other posts after that one, in the knitting category, that give some of the backstory; I like the fact that the year doesn’t show up in the date of the post but it is at least 2 years ago) in the basket in the living room that brings up all kinds of negative feelings when I even think about picking it up again. I had such great dreams for that sweater and then the sleeves were too long (waaaaay too long) and I took out the sleeves and then I tried it on and it seemed to big and I took back a bit at the shoulder and restarted the sleeves (top down, picking up from around the armhole) and … well it still sits there. Beautiful cushy yarn. I think maybe I overthought it and should have just knit something straight from the pattern.

Hanami was great. It reminded me that I love knitting lace. And I got lots of compliments on it when I wore it to church a couple of weeks ago. And I’ve done some socks. For my dad and for a friend. They were both very appreciative. And looking through some of the photos I realize I’ve also done that wrap sweater for myself, a baby sweater for a friend, and the little vest for Tigger. But I haven’t been inspired.

And then Twist Collective came out. I bought two patterns. And then didn’t do anything about either of them. The whole idea of starting a project that might go horribly wrong like the unfinished sweater in the basket seems to have been holding me back. But the other day I went to the LYS to look for yarn. I took some patterns with me that I thought I might like to knit and looked at all the yarn in the shop several times. Picked it up and felt it. Considered it.

The only thing that really spoke to me was some Lang Merino Superwash. I wasn’t sure if the gauge was right for Jaali but it looked close. And then I had a total freeze about colour. But I looked and felt and considered. And walked out empty-handed.

Emily is also starting Jaali and posted about her yarn decisions the other day. That prompted me to look up the ball band gauge on the recommended yarn and realize it is the same as that on the Lang. I considered colour a bit more and was still stuck, but realized that if I really want to make it purple, I just need to go get some grey wool fabric and make another pair of the wonder-pants (I have a pattern that fits great and looks great and I even modified it to put decent pockets in it.). I have been thinking about making grey wool pants anyway.

So today I went back to the LYS and stared at the Lang and squeezed it and contemplated colour. There was a great red (only 3 balls) but I already have a lot of red tops and even a great red Manos de Uraguay sweater that I wear a lot in the winter. I seriously considered a couple of shades of orange. I bought an orange t-shirt this summer and I think it looks okay on me but I don’t think I’m ready to dive into orange for a sweater. And there was a really nice plum/eggplant colour (ha, I notice it is officially called “aubergine”). I knit a sweater in some Jo Sharp cotton in that colour a few years ago and wore it lots. I still do sometimes. It’s a great colour for me. And I don’t really have that many purple tops (partly because I can only wear them with my jeans these days; my grey pants are all too big or too dressy).

I bought purple. They only had 10 balls and I need 15, but the other store had 5 more and I can probably pick them up tomorrow or Monday.

And I knit a swatch. A good big swatch. I decided on 3.5mm needles because the pattern gauge is a bit tighter than the ball band guage. I cast-on what should be enough for a 6 inch swatch if I get gauge (plus a couple of stitches each side for a garter stitch border) and knit what should be enough for a 6 inch swatch (plus garter borders). I just measured it and it is 15.5 cm by 16 cm inside the borders. That’s pretty darn close. Now I’m going to wash it and see what happens.

… several days later …

It grew. So I knit another swatch on 3.25 mm needles. This on is 23 stitches and 32 rows to 4″. I’m calling that close enough. Not least because I don’t have a 3 mm circular. And because the really crucial thing is going to be the row gauge on the cables. I’m still undecided on how much ease but will probably err on the side of too little since my stitch gauge is going to make it come out a tiny bit larger and because I have learned from experience that that is the way to err. Fitted is good.

Maybe I’ll go cast on now…

I was reading Sheila’s post about writing poetry with her kids and realized that I forgot to update you all on my own poetry challenge.

First, I now read the poem that Becky posts on Fridays instead of skimming over it or skipping that post altogether. Sometime’s I need to force myself to do it because my instinct is still to skim or skip. I discover that “it will not kill me” (as I say to Tigger about eating the odd raisin/bit of zucchini/etc) and that it isn’t even painful. I need to keep doing this until my instinct shifts a bit.

Second, I am hosting Teatimes when it is my turn with our homeschool group. My first session of that was this past Tuesday. I went to the library on Monday and grabbed a few things off the shelf to add to the collection of poetry books that we have. The kids each brought something. I made tea and fruit punch. Tigger made cookies and picked flowers from the garden for a centrepiece (and chose a tablecloth). Some of the kids were more enthusiastic than others. Some read more fluently aloud than others (2 speak German at home and are less confident about their English, I think). But everyone read. I said it was okay to choose short things. I also said we all had to choose one poem new to us. Baby steps challenges. It was fun. Some of them were practically begging to read another one. After an hour or so I dismissed them to go play.

One thing I noticed is that Tigger likes what might be called grown up poems. The stuff I find vaguely scary.  I don’t know what the other kids thought but I noticed a real difference in style between what she chose to read and what others chose to read. She also like Shel Silverstein and John Hegley but she chose to read other stuff. This is clearly an area where I need to take a lead from her and not be scared of this stuff.

So the book Sheila mentioned about how to write poetry sounds like something we could maybe do in our December meeting or next term or something. Though apparently Tigger wrote some poetry when she was on holiday in the Gaspésie recently.

Franklin’s post on the election campaign is absolutely fabulous. Why hadn’t we noticed the uncanny resemblance between Delores and Sarah before? Go read. And offer to host Delores on a campaign tour.

Last year I met another homeschooler here in town that I don’t have a lot of naturally occurring opportunities to meet up with. Our kids are diffferent ages and have different interests so we don’t end up at the same activities or anything. But we quite like each other and occasionally make efforts to get together to build our friendship. When I suggested we meet for coffee this summer, she mentioned to me a book that she had read that she’d love to discuss with someone. So I got it out of the library. We had coffee anyway. And then we met another time for coffee and discussion. I don’t do that kind of thing very often and it was really fun.

The book was The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell (published over 10 years ago but I’ve obviously been living under a rock). The story is set in the future and involves space travel, not something that would normally have me pulling a book off the shelf. It is written in two time periods, a past (around 2019) and a present (around 2060) alternating between the aftermath of that journey to another planet and the story of how the main character happened to get there in the first place and the early part of the trip. It is clear pretty early on that something went horribly wrong and he doesn’t want to talk about it.

The main character is a Jesuit priest, consciously echoing the important role that Jesuits played in the “discovery” of the “New World”. The author is exploring serious issues about contact with new people in ways that try to recognize the violence that “discovery” and colonization did to people and cultures while at the same time recognizing that those explorers and colonizers did not set out to harm and were even driven by a desire to do good or to discover goodness.

At the same time, the book is an exploration of faith and the nature of God. The main character, Emilio, is described by another character in the book as “a soul searching for God” and in many ways the book is a meditation on what that might mean. Other characters act as foils for that search bringing out different understandings of both what God might mean/be and how we might serve God. For someone in my position of great doubt about many of these things, I found that the book provided considerable food for thought.

The edition I borrowed from the library has an interview with the author in the appendix. I don’t think it gives to much away to say that the author claims that one of her goals was to show that God was not going to come and save you from horrible things. She states that she was trying to explore faith in a post-Holocaust world. For her, one of the things the Holocaust teaches is that God will not save you. When I first read the interview, I could see this. This version of what was going on in the story made sense. Emilio had suffered terribly and his suffering, like the suffering of the Jews in WWII, does throw into question any simple sense that God would save us.

But the more I think of it, the more it doesn’t make sense even in terms of her own fictional narrative. It seems to me that Emilio is saved, in several senses. He is physically removed from the place where the trauma was being enacted (continuously). And his faith, which has been tested greatly, is restored at the end (I hope that doesn’t spoil it for you either, but it might help you through the really tough parts). Well if by restored we mean that he becomes (again) “a soul searching for God”. In that sense, it seems to me that this story follows more of the format of the faithful being tested and coming through it.

Thinking that through also brought to mind a sermon I heard this summer, where the lesson was that we shouldn’t predecide how God might save us. The priest told the story of the man refusing help as the flood waters rise saying that God will save him and when he dies and gets to heaven he asks why he wasn’t saved to which God (or St. Peter, depending on the story) says “We sent you a rowboat and a helicopter, what more did you want us to do?” I was thinking that the simple understanding of God saving us, the one that the Holocaust firmly counters, is the version that says that God will save you by making the floodwaters stop rising. The more complex version is that the floodwaters might continue to rise but God might still save you. You won’t be the same you. And you won’t avoid suffering altogether.

There is a lot of other stuff in it to spark further contemplation.

But there are also some interesting things that are perhaps less central to the main theme. One is how noticeable it is that something big changed after 9/11. Our images of the future, even the dystopian ones, seem to have significantly shifted. It is hard to imagine that anyone would imagine the future in the way Russell has today. I think the fact that her “past” is so close to us now (only 11 years away) makes it seem implausible. It seems that we couldn’t get from here to there in the next 10 years. But maybe it was plausible 10 years ago.

Remarkable details: Muslims do not figure at all in the narrative. The US economy has collapsed as has their political power. The Japanese are now the world superpower. The Japanese came to power in a “trade war”.

Other things are more believable: hurricanes and other severe weather events; the end of oil;

It is interesting how in 1997, despite the first Gulf War, the future is not imagined as one that has come about because of a “hot” war (those these do figure in the telling of history in the narrative) but rather by economic domination. I also think that today even the economic “enemy” would be imagined differently. China perhaps. This tells us interesting things about how the world looked only 10 years ago. It also tells us that 10 years ago we could predict the end of oil and the effects of climate change, things we still aren’t really doing anything about (or anything near adequate to the scale of the problem).

I am really glad that my friend suggested that I read this book. It is not something I would have picked up otherwise. And it is so rich in thought provoking ideas about faith, about politics, about family, about the nature of society and politics (I didn’t even touch on that; but the world they discover is very interestingly structured)… I highly recommend this book.

Although I’ve been working pretty hard, other stuff is happening. The weather has been getting pretty cold at night and went down almost to freezing the other day. The tomatoes didn’t seem to be doing much anyway, so we picked all but the cherry tomatoes (which we’ve covered) and made a whole bunch of green tomato salsa. I don’t like either cilantro/coriander or chili but other people do and it makes great gives. (Yes, cilantro is coriander leaf. And I do like coriander seed. I’m one of those people who think the leaf smells and tastes like soap.)

We also canned a peck of pears and Mat is getting another peck today. We peel them and halve them and put them in a light sugar syrup. Despite Wisteria’s warnings about low-acid foods, etc. I just put the pears in the hot syrup, bring it back to the boil, put them in hot jars, fill them right to the top, put the lids on, and turn them upside down to cool. (Same thing I do with peaches; my grandmother’s method.) Didn’t kill anyone last year but ymmv. I do think that where you live makes a difference, probably, though I’m not sure how or why.

We’ve decided that we should do more tomatoes and beets and possibly beans. Mat was up early so went to the farmer’s market on his own. We’ll see what he comes back with. Tomorrow afternoon might be a busy one slaving over a hot stove.

Tigger has been keeping herself busy and seems to be fine with the level of neglect. Our little co-op has started and this past week it was at a friend’s who is close enough Tigger can go on her own on the bike so she got herself there and back. They were learning about elections, since we are now having one (on October 14th; Becky will keep you up to date better than I will). She’s also been writing like a mad fiend. She and her friend have decided to form a writing club and they spent all Thursday afternoon together writing and illustrating. She’s also been hanging out in her room writing a lot. I see that some of the new stories are up on the blog though I think a lot more has been written.

Tigger has also been working through the next book in the Key To Geometry series. The one on squares and rectangles, which might be the 4th one. There has been some violin practice, too. Her Nana brought her a full-size violin and fixed it up for her. And Tigger has been asked if she can play some sad/reflective music to go with poetry readings that the youth group will do for the Rembrance Day service at church.

Nana and Grandpa have now gone home. Everyone had a great visit. And Tigger has started her choir. Next week basketball and science class start as well as a 5 week babysitting class. So things will be pretty busy and there might be enough structure that I’ll know what day of the week it is

I have some things of my own going on, too. I decided to sign up for a class at church: Eclipsing Empire. It is very interesting. Historical context of Paul’s writings. I had been thinking about it and when I went to sign up, I noticed that many of the folks taking it were people I knew and liked. That helped. And I’m enjoying it. I am also back at my fitness class in the weights room. A bit stiff this week but I think that indicates how good it is for me to do it regularly. And I like the other women there. I’ve identified a 20 minute brisk walk route around my neighbourhood and am trying to do that regularly, too.

Today I think we’ll do a bit of housework and then we are off to a friend’s place for the afternoon. Have a good weekend.

I have used my bog-standard day planner to help manage the stress of this heavy workload season. Basically, I realized that after about 3 p.m. I can’t do any useful work actually reviewing grant applications (which is what I do). I can’t concentrate, and folks aren’t going to get my most insightful thoughts. And for what I charge, they should get insightful thoughts. So I sat down and worked out the numbers. Some days I can get through 4 applications as long as I get up early and no one is hanging around in my office (which is also the kitchen). Some days, I have things to go to, so that cuts down on what I can do. Do I need to miss those things? Well, I planned it out. And no, I don’t. The work I have to do can all be done before the end of the day on Friday, September 26th without having to miss some of the things I’m booked for (a class at church, a fitness class, etc) and without reviewing more than 4 applications a day (and fewer on most days). That is a pretty reasonable workload. It enables me to do my best work for my clients, get it done in a reasonable time-frame, and be involved in the rest of my life.

Knowing that it works also gets rid of lots of stress and anxiety. I don’t have to feel bad on days I only review 2 applications. I don’t have to feel guilty about stopping at 3 p.m. and writing a blog post or going for a walk or canning pears. I can go to a friend’s place on the weekend and hang out with my partner in the evening playing games and chatting after we’ve canned pears and green tomato salsa.

And I can futz around on the internet and mull over ideas about where this business might be going after this little seasonal rush.

Of course, I also determined that I didn’t have time to take Tigger to the opera today. We had purchased the tickets ages ago for a school performance of The Marriage of Figaro. But Mat stepped up and took her. He has work to do, too, but our relationship is a partnership and he’s as committed to parenting and homeschooling as I am. Also, I only get busy in September and May. And he’s going away to do a lot of intensive work in the first week of October. It all works out. Give and take.

I’m hoping that our new Busy Body Fridge planner will make that coordination less stressful. It only just arrived, so we’ll have to see.

The work that I get paid to do comes in seasonal waves. This is one of those seasons. It is like a little mini hurricane of e-mail has hit me and I need to organize it and do things with it and get my comments back to these people asap. I love my job but this very predictable hurricane season always catches me a bit by surprise.

And amongst all of that business, I had a minor panic and asked some friends for some help/moral support on a pricing question. And Andrea pointed me to a couple of great blogs about small business. That, of course, led to some high quality procrastination and a few other blogs. So I’m now trying to put off thinking about how to grow this business in new directions (that might be less seasonal, or fill up the current non-business season, or something) and just do the work I have on my desk right now. One of those things I need to not do right now is think too hard about the fact that I have no web presence for the business.

But down one of those rabbit trails was some good advice about productivity and planning your day. Even without turning it into a planner and writing things out (though I bet I know someone who would love that; someone who has recently moved their blog and I’m not sure if I should link to the new one or not) I have been able to put it into practice a bit. And today I got more done! Hurray!

Tigger is keeping herself busy in the background and being understanding. She knows it is only a couple of weeks and this year her dad is home and available. And there will be new knitting projects because a great and long time friend who I should be better at keeping in touch with is expecting a baby in December. I need to knit a shawl for his wife (because the mama does all the work and gets no presents) and something for the baby (that blanket in Knitty looks ideal).  But not today.

In both the US and Canadian elections this seems to be the major campaign strategy: Don’t mention the war. Argue about lipstick and hairstyles and who is allowed to participate in leader’s debates and puffins. Anything to avoid mentioning the war.

Becky pointed me in the direction of this brilliant article by Jeffrey Goldberg in The Atlantic. Lots of history and a terrifying conclusion. Even more frightening is the fact that John McCain himself thinks that his views on war will not win him this election. He’s not really talking about them. Why are his opponents not talking about them? Pro-Death. That’s what he is. The death of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis and possibly Iranians. And Americans in the process. But are the lives of Iraqis, Iranians, Afghans really worth less than American lives. And is this not worth debating.

At the same time, just before the election was called up here north of the border a study came out showing that most Canadians are not happy with the role our military is playing in Afghanistan. The only mention of the war that has been made so far is Stephen Harper trying to make a statement that will end the possibility of debate. Again, where is the opposition. We have more than 2 parties in this game. Where is the debate?

I’m reading Madeleine L’Engle’s Two-Part Invention: The Story of a Marriage and came across this today (page 125 of the edition I have).

There are many times when the idea that there is indeed a pattern seems absurd wishful thinking. Random events abound. There is much in life that seems meaningless. And then, when I can see no evidence of meaning, some glimpse is given which reveals the strange weaving of purposefulness and beauty.

The world of science lives fairly comfortably with paradox. We know that light is a wave, and also that light is a particle. The discoveries made in the infinitely small world of particle physics indicate randomness and chance, and I do not find it any more difficult to live with the paradox of a universe of randomness and chance and a universe of pattern and purpose than I do with light as a wave and light as a particle. Living with contradiction is nothing new to the human being.

Not that many of us think much about particles and waves but since I read that cloud book…

I was away for just over 24 hours. Blitzen had been asleep on the bed almost all day and was a bit peeved that I didn’t let him out when he woke up late in the afternoon but I’m pretty sure he’d rather be around to be fed than be outside. And it was threatening a thunderstorm. I couldn’t find Donner but I knew she’d come back for breakfast at least (she’s a very outdoor cat in the summer). So I left a message for my lodger and went off to the retreat.

When I got back last night (about 7:30), they were both in the kitchen waiting for me. They went out right away. Blitzen came back in later (he meows by the back door or stands on the patio table in view of the kitchen window to get my attention). He slept with me and was very affectionate last night. This morning he had some breakfast and went outside. (Donner came back from breakfast, too, but she’s gone off wherever she goes again.) A little while ago I heard a little meow. I looked by the back door and couldn’t see him so I came back to my computer. I heard it again. I went to the back door, couldn’t see him but stepped outside. He was lying there in the driveway (the garbage can was in the line of sight from the door) and wanted me to come over. I went and he had a dead chipmumk near him. I almost took a picture but thought there would be more people who would be horrified than anything else so changed my mind.

I think he intended it as a present. I acted suitably proud. I stroked him and chattered a bit. Then I went inside. A little while later he meowed again. The chipmunk appeared to be gone. I let him in and he asked for food (he goes to the door of the cupboard the bag of food is in; I told him he should just eat the chipmunk but I guess he likes kibble better, wierd cat). When I let him back out I noticed the chipmunk was across the driveway. I got some newspaper and wrapped it up and threw it out. I hope he isn’t offended but I know my neighbour is upset by the cats killing small rodents and birds and stuff.

Hopefully that’s all the welcome I get. I’m not keen on gifts of small rodents. I accept that it is in the nature of cats to kill (and even torture) things. I would MUCH prefer them to eat them afterwards. And they are not killing things that are in any danger of extinction. In fact, the chipmunk, mouse and starling population could probably use a bit of natural control. But I don’t really have a use right now for dead rodents. I suppose when we get into biology labs requiring dissection my tune will change. I do find myself looking at the poor dead chipmunk and thinking that I could just bring him in and open him up … Homeschooling literally changes how you look at thing.

(And yes, in case you were wondering, Blitzen is the 3-legged cat. As my vet said, someone obviously forgot to tell him he was missing a leg.)